Time Travelers Guild To the Universe

thenextdragonborn:

levelnone:

ambiguousmagic:

furrydreamer:

ambitiousbard:

bubblybloodsailor:

shardain:

rlyrlybigman:

fuzzybagels:

andymagnuseth:

loveofallthingsdark:

sharktoothgrin:

5ummit:

cthulhudream5:

chumsynsky:

Prowling out of the tarmac, swinging a burning branch, cometh Chum! And she gives a spectacular scream:

“I’m going to blow a bullet-hole in you the size of God!!”

omfg

Striding through the mountains, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Cthulhudream5! And she gives an ominous bellow:

“I’m going to pulverize you until you bleed puke, and throw you out the window!”

Hark! Who is that, stalking through the terrain! It is Wendy, hands clutching a mighty sword! And with a bloodthirsty howl, her voice cometh:

“Ares, God of War, be praised! I desecrate until my loins find satisfaction!”

accurate

Hark! Who is that, sprinting amidst the mountains! It is Kayce, hands clutching a mighty sword! And with a mighty cry, her voice cometh:

“I’m going to clobber you into the fast lane, and dip you in uranium!!!”

So like does this mean I’m CM Punk because apparently I clobber people

Lo! Who is that, striding out of the candy store! It isSpring Heeled Sloan, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! And with a low scream, her voice cometh:

“I’m seriously going to beat you until your anus and mouth reverse their functions!!!”

Running through the icy wasteland, attacking with an oversized scalpel, cometh AndyMagnuseth! And he gives a booming grunt:

“Blood and souls for my dark lord! I plunder until my glands are satisfied!”

…Oh. I should probably play Guilty Gear XX again. I wish I still had it.

Lo! Who is that, prowling on the steppes! It is Mandie, hands clutching a studded crowbar! She bellows vengefully:

“You in some shit now, muhfuh! I bring darkness and mayhem with God on my side!!”

god on my side but i’m an atheist how does

Skulking across the terrain, swinging a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Rlyrlybigman! And he gives a cruel roar:

“I’m going to fuck you until you pee fire!!!”

Now you know how Nic Cage does it in Ghost Rider 2.

Striding along the steppes, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Shardain! And she gives a low scream:

“I’m going to pummel you to the moon and back, and throw you out the airplane door!!”

Lo! Who is that, striding over the plains! It is Tart, hands clutching two hardened pitas! She cries ominously:

“I’m going to spank you until armored tanks pull us apart, then steal your lederhosen!!”

omg

Rampaging through the cliffs, attacking with a jeweled meat hammer, cometh ambitiousBard! And he gives a low scream:

“I’m going to fuck you like it’s a new extreme sport!!!”

accurate

Rampaging along the desert, swinging a vorpal blade, cometh FurryDreamer! And she gives a low roar:

“I’m going to turn you into part of my balanced breakfast!!!”

Lo! Who is that, running on the mountains! It isAmbiguousMagic, hands clutching a reflective halberd! She bellows homicidally:

“I’m going to smack you until you’re a parapalegic!!!”

Zang! Who is that, sprinting across the hotel lobby! It isKaleigh, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with a bloodthirsty roar, her voice cometh:

“I’m seriously going to contort you until the laws of physics are violated!!”

Striding through the hotel lobby, brandishing a meaty axe, cometh Thenextdragonborn! And she gives a gutteral bellow:

“By Odin’s mighty spear, no flesh shall be spared!!!”

Skulking over the wasteland, clutching glided boxing gloves, cometh Grimm! And he gives an ominous scream:

“I’m seriously going to smack you until yo spontaneously degenerate!“  

(Source: chantillyxlacey)